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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in SaRaH's LiveJournal:

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Sunday, October 3rd, 2004
10:38 am
Why am I awake thi s early on a Sunday???

I love college b/c I walk around naked in my room all the time! I am so excited to be coming home this weekend. I need to see my friends, I NEED to be in physical contact with my SeKaI. I AM OBSESSED WITH HACKY SAC-ing!!!

Life is good, Life is fun, but it isn't that way for ev-ery-one. oh no!

 

Do you ever look at the clouds and wonder if maybe there's a secret message hidden in them, like a picture that we are suppose to search for, some kind of sign un-veiled that if only we searched hard enough and found it, it would reveal something extraordinary.

 


 



Current Mood: Tranquil
Tuesday, September 28th, 2004
1:57 am
IT'S 1:57 AM...WHY ME?
Today was the greatest day, skating wise, for me ever and the worst day with what some might call LUCK. I went skating in downtown Corpus Christi tonight with Matt, Austin, and Travis. It was a badass skate day but when we parked my car my left headlight went out. Then 10 minutes after we'de been skating I realized that I only had the key to my car door but, I had put my purse and the key to my ignition and my dorm key and my TRUNK key all in THE TRUNK. So I could get into my car but, I couldn't drive it anywhere. So we call for a ride to come get us and we go back to campus but wait, I'm locked out of my fucking room! So I search for my suite mate but can't find her for a good 30 minutes. Finally she shows up and lets me in through her room. So I get my spare car keys from my room and I catch a ride from Travis back 20 minutes away to my car. So I open the trunk when I get there and get my purse and my keys but, once again WAIT, the key to the car door that was in my pocket, is now NOT IN MY POCKET AND NO WHERE TO BE FOUND...So I spend 45 minutes trying to pry open my car door in every which way and since my window is off the henge, I could not rig it open with a hanger. Finally, frustrated,tired, and mentally/emotional exhausted I get in Travis's truck and I find my fucking car door key under his fucking passenger seat chair. The bitch ass key fell outta my pocket apparently on the ride back to my car...SO now it's 2:05 AM and I am just now back from the almost 4 hour process of getting my fucking car back!!! I am so pissy and just fucking frustrated as hell! and I didn't have time to study for my fucking spanish test. I want to fucking SCREAAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I am curious as fuck as to WHY THE HELL THIS HAPPENED TO ME!!!!!!!! it's a straight up diss to me for something I must've done but, all I've fucking been doing is surfing and skating everyday and trying to take care of my shit.
AHHH FUCKING SHIT ASS BITCH MOTHER FUCKER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!sorry I am on the brink of smashing a window open or something. fuck this curse upon me!

Current Mood: FUCKING DUMBASS
Tuesday, September 21st, 2004
11:24 am
HAPPY HIPPIE TUESDAY!

WoW! What a wonderful little excursion to Austin. There was nothing better in the world than seeing the best of the best of my heart all in one weekend in a city not even our own. I am so ecstatic that I saw two of my very best friends all in the same day. How wonderful. Red red wine you make me feel so fine...gimme red wine make me clear up my mind.... HOLY SHIT! MELISSA IS A BAD-BAD-BAD ASS FRIEND!!! I got a package in the mail yesterday and Melissa had mailed me a candle so I called her and thanked her and she told me to go outseide and smash the candle on the ground...so I went outseide and smashed it on the ground, luckily no one was around because a nice little sac of bud fell out. It was so awesome! That;s the most clever thing I've ever heard of! Man oh man I was completely out of bud too AND I have no money so this helped me out ginormously! I got a beautiful new bong in Austin at The Gas Pipe. check it out this bong was only $40!!! I figured I needed to move on from Xena and accept the fact (sigh) that she...is....gggggone.... (moment of silence). Lets talk about my new beauty here: She is taller than Xena and she is all green swirls and she is nice and curvy and her name is IT'AMA (eat-om-mah). It means ALL IS WELL in African. I figure what more appropriate of a name beacuse I mean the saying of my life is No Worries, so this is in perfect correlation.

GOAL: make my body happy 24/7



Current Mood: chipper
Monday, September 13th, 2004
9:36 am
realization of lonliness
Last night I truly realized for the first time since I moved to Corpus that I am alone. As I sat in a hospital bed for 5 hours I became very depressed, to the point of constantly crying because this was the first time in my life I had to go through anything like that and have to be alone while doing it. Usually my dad is there, or my mom or someone else to sit by my side during whatever it may be that is happening to me. The right side of mouth had been hurting for 3 days and when I woke up Sunday morning it was to the point that my mouth was so swollen I couldn't open it more than an inch wide and my gums were swelling so much that my teeth were starting to cut into them from the pressure. so I went to the hospital and it was fucking horrible! They stuck me with 2 ivys and another shot of something. They ran all these tests on my blood and informed me that I had Pariontitis- infection/inflammation of the salvary glands and the ducts in my salvary gland were blocked off so instead of saliva excreting from these glands, there was this thick mucus substance slowly oozing from these ducts. I had to spend $90 on fucking medication and right now at this very moment my arm is super sore from the ivys and I am on Decadran some steroid, Augmentin, and Hydrocodone. The hydrocodone doesn't help, it didn't help when I got my wisdom teeth pulled and it doesn't help now. Last night all the medication was fucking with my body so much that I was really emotionally unstable and my stomach was torn up to the point that I had to lay my head over a toilet miserably for a while. I hate most of all though the fact that I have to go through this by myself, yeah I have friends here who are all willing to help me out, but its not the same as your family and your true friends being by your side. This is what I miss about home. At least the rain is soothing right now.

Current Mood: depressed
Wednesday, September 1st, 2004
4:04 pm
FAREWELL XENA and Gabriella
BITCH ASS FUCKING BASTARD PIG ASSHOLE CUM GUZZLING MOTHER FUCKERS!!!!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE THEY TOOK MY FUCKING BONG!!! MY BEAUTIFUL YELLOW,GREEN, AND BLUE SWIRLED XENA WITH HER LITTLE SIDEKICK BOWL GABRIELLA!!!I LOVED THE SHIT OUT OF THAT THING! THAT BONG WAS MY BABY MAN! IT MAKES IT EVEN WORSE THAT SHE WAS TAKEN FROM A FRIEND OF MINE THAT WAS USING HER. I DIDN'T EVEN GET TO SAY GOODBYE! THIS IS FUCKING DEVESTATING!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE BONGS. I LOVED THAT BONG! WHAT AM I SUPPOSE TO DO NOW?

Current Mood: crushed
Sunday, August 29th, 2004
4:38 am
self discovery
You always seem to find a piece of youself while on mushrooms. Hydroponic mushrooms at that...Your learn so much about yourself when you go into a shroom trip and just get trapped inside your own head. But somehow this time that you are trapped in your own head , ironically enough it leads you to see how much more there is to the world. And when you can look beyond yourself, you give yourself the chance to see what else there is out there. Tonight Adam, Katie, Austin, and I all ate some hydroponic shrooms I got a hold of. We made tea in our communal dorm kitchen and no one suspected a thing. There was a time in the night where I was frozen just absorbed in the maze of my brainwaves. This is the most intense game you can play with your mind. I advise all to take advantage of this. I skateboarded around campus by myself all trippin then WE WERE WALKING ON THE TRAIL AROUND OUR SCHOOL SMOKING A JOINT AND THIS BIKE COP ROLLS UP AND ASKS US WHAT WE WERE SMOKING. ADAM HANDED HIM THE ROACH AND THE COP SAYS, "YOU GUYS SHOULDN'T BE SMOKING THIS SHIT HERE TAKE A BREAK" AND HE THROWS THE ROACH OUT AND RIDES OFF. strangely enough I was completely calm the entire time. I didnt even turn around and look at the cop once, i kept walking but like I knew nothing bad was going to happen. man we are lucky b/c at tat time this cop could've turned our world upside down. we'de be packing our bags right now...then I walk and stand in the sprinklers. You know I found tonight an even deeper sense of independence. Like i don't need people, I don't need acceptance. I don't need to worry.Then we walk by and talk to these 2 guys and 2 girls.and the girls were typical short skirts and makeup sluts. im standing there soaking wet and this girl says ," oh i can't stand out here, my hair will..." and i say so what its just hair it doesn't matter. and she says," oh no you don't understand. Your hair is like that." and i say listen to yourself, IT DOESN'T MATTER. it's just your hair and no one is ever going to remember that- oh remember that day Diana's hair was frizzie! HA people are ridiculous. I realize tonight that I loathe the concept of inebriation. You drown your brain in order to "loosen up and get fucked up" but you should never consume a substance in order to fuck up your brain and body. ok check this out: the entire concept of getting drunk is simply to lead to sex. you get drunk and all the sudden your inhabitions are out the window and inevitably, you end up fucking around with any old person. THat's DiSguSTINg! The entire purpose is to get sloppy drunk sex on a Saturday night... we walked around campus for a while and I have a new found appreciation. so much time and effort and money was put into the beautification of our scenic view walking to class. We have palm trees and flower plants. I love new found knowledge. I miss Allison's bright face and curious ponderings. I see lightning. I AM TRIPPING. peace

Current Mood: high
Wednesday, August 18th, 2004
2:00 am
TIME TICKS ON WHETHER YOU'RE READY OR NOT...and Allison

I feel like I have been running through an endless hallway towards life in Corpus for the last 3 months and now I am trying to skid my feet on the carpet and slow down to fathom the reality of the fact that my new beginnings, my life completely on my own is a quick hop and three days away.[my heart skips 2 beats] When I think about how close it is, I feel like to wind is knocked out of me and I breathe more heavily. This is too much man, too much. Me, Sarah Ashley Newton, putting myself out in the world little by little. First stop: Corpus Christi,Texas population 277,454, now 277,455...I look forward to completely coming to terms with myself and my individuality more than ever. I have been building up to this point in my life in which I am 100% self sufficient. I feel like I can actual fully claim my independance now that I'll be one girl surrounded by a city of almost three hundred thousand strangers. Galveston has given me alot though over the summer. I had to become responsible and experience first hand how much it sucks to have the burden and responsibility of paying rent and the electric bill and throwing down a few hundred to fix your car and paying a phone bill and buying your own food and drugs and alcohol(sometimes alcohol, seeing how females get drinks bought easily). Cash flows away like rapid water. I've seen raw ruthless life first hand in Galveston. I've seen homeless steal a tip jar from a bar, I've heard gunshots behind me, I've woken up next to a 26 year old man, I've seen a family of 4 on one of those peddling rental carts get smashed into by a drunk driver and 2 little girls die, I've had people run out on their check at Fish Tales, I saw a high speed chase that started in Clear lake end up at the Flagship Hotel across from my work ending with the guy jumping in the water and every pig in a 20 mile radius waiting with guns ready for him to bop his head out of the water. Life is scary sometimes. you never seem to realize that this stuff really does happen until you live in a ghetto area and see it first hand. I am now more conscious that I am not made of titatanium and chanced prevailing that "it won't happen to me" could easily happen to ME. I've learned much about myself and the world as I know it over the summer and now I get to top that off with COLLEGE LIFE. Life is good, Life is fun, but it isn't that way for everyone....oh no.......

Allison, I love you dearly dearly dearly. You own a huge portion of my heart and soul and spirits and happiness and life. You have helped me to be a better and more caring person. I have never learned more from one little power-packed female as I have from you. Your company and simple existence in my life has truly completed me and fulfilled the natural yearning human beings have to find that special one companionship. Shit I never needed boyfriends/girlfriends because I had already found my kindred spirit soulmate within a best friend. I hope you realize YOU MADE MY SENIOR YEAR the best year in my life to this point. I had never connected to a girl as I have you, you know most girls are yuppy idiots. You have positively affected me in more means than one. I will hold you in my head(like Jerry Garcia in Half Baked) throughout this year we are about to leap into in our different worlds 4 hours away. SEKAI KIANGA YOU HAVE MADE ME SEE HOW BEAUTIFUL AND PURE THE WORLD CAN BE AND FOR THAT I GIVE YOU A RAINBOW. justice,peace, and unity. much love, Mene Safiya



Current Mood: thoughtful
Wednesday, May 19th, 2004
8:22 pm
breath sarah breath
Monday, May 3rd, 2004
11:41 am
I FINISHED MY RESEARCH PAPER!i FINISHED MY RESEARCH PAPER!I FINISHED MY RESEARCH PAPER!i FINISHED MY RESEARCH PAPER!I FINISHED MY RESEARCH PAPER!i FINISHED MY RESEARCH PAPER!I FINISHED MY RESEARCH PI FINISHED MY RESEARCH PAPER!i FINISHED MY RESEARCH PAPER!APER!i FINISHED MY RESEARCH PAPER!I FINISHED MY RESEARCH PAPER!i FINISHED MY RESEARCH PAPER!I FINISHED MY RESEARCH PAPER! FINISHED MY RESEARCH PAPER!i FINISHED MY RESEARCH PAPER! RESEARCH PAPER!i FINISHED MY RESI FINISHED MY RESEARCH PAPER!i FINISHED MY RESEARCH PAPER!EARCH PAPER!I FINISHED MY RESEARCH PAPER!i FINISHED MY RESEARCH PAPER!I FINISHED MY RESEARCH PAPER!i FINISHED MY RESEARCH PAPER!I FINISHED MY RESEARCH PAPER!i FINISHED MY RESEARCH PAPER!I FINISHED MY RESEARCH PAPER!i FINISHED MY RESEARCH PAPER!I FINISHED MY RESEARCH PAPER! FINISHED MY RESEARCH PAPER!i FINISHED MY RESEARCH PAPER!ARCH PAPER!i FINISHED MY RESEARCH PAPER!I FINISHED MY RESEARCH PAPER!i FINISHED MY RESEARCH PAPER!I FINISHED MY RESEARCH PAPER!i FINISHED MY RESEARCH PAPER!I FINISHED MY RESEARCH PAPER!I FINISHED MY RESEARCH PAPER!i FINISHED MY RESEARCH PAPER!i FINISHED MY RESEARCH PAPER!

Current Mood: ecstatic
Tuesday, April 20th, 2004
11:07 pm
Temporarily Rejunvinated
Today was nice. toked it up in the morn with alliSON. In photography 6th period i was so emotinally worn down byt everything going on and by hearing everyone talk about Jonathan it was KILLING me. I couldn't take it and I hear this ignorant loudmouthed black bitchass girl talking about it liie it was no big deal, being all loud and asking some guy the details and shit and im sorry but i didnt want to hear about it for the 1503030303th time so i yelled at her "will you stip talking about it!!!!!!!" and she tried to be all hard and stand up and use her annoying unintelligible voice to tell me to stay out of it and she wasnt even talking to me and to close my ears if i didnt want to listen.. and i was like, "SCREW YOU! YOU HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHATS GOING ON WITH HIM OR WHAT HAPPENED AND YOU DONT EVEN KNOW HIM SO ITS NOT YOUR DAMN BUSINESS! JUST STOP TALKING ABOUT IT...(and i took a breathe and SCREAMED): YOU DIDNT EVEN FUCKING KNOW HIM!!!!!!!!!!!" Mr.Alexander took her in the other room the seperate us and told her that its a touchy subject and to have a little consideration for others who are dealing with this. he is a badass but i got so close to just knocking her fat little face in. How can people be so ignorant and insensitive. I figured when you got to highschool you gained a little compassion for your fellow man but, i suppose THE STUPID never do. gawd damn ive been so fucking AGRESSIVE lately.......oh so i must say i had to help out TWO friends tonight with MAJOR issues in their lives and it made me feel better. like i am SUPPOSE to be the one to help everyone with their shit, it takes thought off of my own situations. ive missed it b/c ive been with my own shit so much lately that i couldnt possibly have counselled others..it's nice to be back- but keep in mind if you need counseling to leave me alone tomorrow(Wednesday) b/c its the funeral day and i wont wanna talk.

Current Mood: exhausted
Monday, April 19th, 2004
10:31 pm
when you're smoking blunts in clean underwear somebody say oh yeah!

I hate letting people see me at my weak moments.....anywho, Ashley made my day excellent!!! She is going to prom with me!!! and shes wearing the matching dress thing!!! and we went and skateboarded on the Seawall and smoked a blueberry joint on the jetties as the sun set and THEN she bought me really good chinese food from Happy Buddha (note: refrain from ordering the pan fried noodles b/c they are really weird and flavorless and WEIRD) and then i am a hungry gal so i ate/drank an Oreo Cookie Shake THEN my loving friend JO^2 hooked me on some killa-milla-budzilla! ahh such a nice ending to such a wretched tearful day. HAPPY 4/20 IN EIGHTY-SIX MINUTES! whooooo!           Okay I have a hilarious story. My ex-boyfriend/still good friend Joe got married to Jacquelyn and he is in Virginia in the Marines in order to start their life and support her well, little miss bitch is in Texas avoiding his phonecalls, denying their marriage to her friends and CHEATING ON JOE! I find out about this and hell yea i call him and let him know his bitchass wife is going to die! During their entire relationship turned marriage, he has been calling me and i've been like his fucking counselor but i tried to stay outta their marriage eventho i dont like her at all. He tells me how miserable he is and how bad she is to him, never calling him blah blah blah. well i dunno who this stupid bitch thinks she is but she calls ME today trying to bitch me out about me "talking shit" and bullshit bullshit. I didn't give her the chance i was like, "look Jacquelyn i dont let my friends get taken advantage of and walked all over by stupid litle bitched like you. i wont let joe get hurt because you are an indecisive little bitch who is cheating on him w/ ur ex." she retorts, "well this is none of your damn business! this is my relationship and my husband!" and i was like, "you kno i dont give a fuck about you and your relationship i dont fucking liike you ok! you think its not my business, well obviously it IS if YOUR husband has been calling me thru the entire time for consolement and advice. ive been there for him more than his own fucking wife! If its not my business then why is your husband bringing me into it? you know you are a horrible person and a fucking bitch. YOU DON'T DESERVE JOE and i don't want to talk to you anymore..." CLICK . So i've been having dreams for the past 2 weeks that i get in a big fight which is weird for a peaceful hippie to dream about constantly so, I am convinced that my dream has simply been preparing myself for a fight. and i figured out today it'll probably be that bitch Jacquelyn coming over starting shiat with me. So it's interesting because i wonder if in my subconscious state of mind i am being trained...haha that'de be funny if i went to fight her and i suddenly started doing all these badass tae kwon do moves. ha



Current Mood: cocky
Sunday, April 18th, 2004
10:36 pm
The trechorous days that eventually come in life

Why must these days arrive all at once! It's not fucking fair. I hate blabbing on about stupid depressing shit but, it sucks because as you grow up these oh-so "trechorous" days seem to be more and more serious and devastating situations. As my week progressed it went from bad to worse. Houston announces his departure wednesday for boot camp, Christina my only childhood friend left informs me that her mother regards me as a bad influence and she is not to see me anymore and is moving to Mississippi in June, not to mention she can't go to prom w/ me as we have planned. so i have no real prom date, and tagging along with allison and jameson and their 3rd wheel date is not the same at all as having my own date to my one and only senior prom...and then the most devastating news i've ever received strikes me hard in the stomach: My best childhood friend Jonathan growing up; the kid i had pine cone wars with, and a tree climbing club, the kid i rode bikes with everyday and shared all my secrets with, the boy who lived 2 houses down and consumed my childhood with his friendship, the boy i collected frogs with and threw firecrackers at, one of the few comfort zones that were left in my life pertaining to my childhood, that one kid growing up who never stopped having a crush, this is the kid who hid behind my couch before school and scared the shit out of me acting like a ghost, he made that one decision to take his final breathe adn shot himself in the head. How could someone so precious to so many people eliminate himself from our physical world, rip himself out of existence and commit suicide? I wish i knew the motivation. I saw him just 2 days before. 2 days! and he seemed so content but, i suppose when people seem happy is when you ought worry about them. Ive never lost a friend before, never known one my own age to die. It had caused tremendous intoxication of sorrow within my being. It was so hard Saturday for right after i found out i went to alli's for birthday sing songing it and present opening. It was the hardest thing in the world to force back my tears and sorrow with the only intentions or not putting a damper on Allison's birthday. It took SO much not to burst into tears while everyone else joked and laughed and this continued for the entire night...until David. I mean sure a few people gave me a hug but no one truely comforted my pain until i let go in front of David. He knew what had happened and right after i got off the phone w/ telling Xtina, my eyes swelled up and he pulled me into his open arms no questions asked and allowed his shirt to soak up my tears for a good 10 minutes straight. The only good insight of the weekend was my ever more-so new found appreciation for david and his compassion. I could not be more thankful. It was stupid of me to even try to hold back my pain, i mean i couldnt even give my best friend a good birthday. I tried so hard too but, nothing seemed to be perfect enough to cause happiness or the slightest shimmer of sunshine . I dont think she realizes how hard it was for me to contain my tears and emotional tornado and all so just to avoid bringing her down on her b-day. could i do anymore than TRY?



Current Mood: crushed
Thursday, April 15th, 2004
10:35 pm
snot nosed and weak
I made myself sick thinking about Christina. That's why I have a snot nose and weak body and nauseousness to the max, and lack of drive. ok im trying to be positive. trying to be optimistic. trying to deny these horrible things occuring in my life. okay okay okay- Allison, I could not possibly get through this without you. Your comfort, your shoulder for me to weep on has meant sooo much to me. I appreciate your consolment to the max! man, all of you guys. all of my friends have been so warm. Melissa, your big sis words of wisdom have really helped me throughout this shiat. It is the brightest most wonderful feeling in the world to realize and truely see how great and caring and compassionate your friends are. I have wonderful friends that i could never ever ever replace. and i won't replace you guys when i go to college so no worries. ME ENCANTO MIS MEJORES AMIGOS!

Current Mood: progressively happier
Tuesday, April 13th, 2004
10:19 pm
Riding the HiGh Plane

It is tuesday so, happy Hippie Tuesday to all... Ottley is so wonderful to me! He basically yanked my ass up from being down yesterday and i owe him immense gratitude. I have felt distant from him lately but, we talked and talked and i feel like a mega beast for not really being there for him lately. I've been selfish i suppose but, things are back to normal! oh Shiat, i gave Nikki "the note" today, the note telling her i basically don't need her bringing me down anymore and disembling her from my life permanently. I wonder if she'll try to hit me, i wouldn't be surprised, i mean she knows not how to react and express herself in any other way but violence and negativity. That's truely sad. Allison you are to my soul as green tea is to my body.



Current Mood: Stoned and Full of brownies
Monday, April 12th, 2004
10:23 pm
i dread waking up
i am at the end of my ability to wake up every morning and go to school. I have never had an issue with attending school but, now its like it takes every drop of energy and will to get me to refrain from checking myself out. its fucking wretched!!!! I can't stand it!!!!...whoo...ok...now today i felt weird. i do not know why but, i was just down, just blue for no apparent reason. i get like that sometimes and i don't know why and there's nothing i can do about it and nothing anyone else can do, i just have to wait it out until it suddenly goes away..its weird and i hate it. WHERE IS MY GIDDYNESS!!!WHERE IS MY FUCKING RANDOM CHEERFULNESS AND PURE HAPPINESS!!!!WHERE THE HELL HAS IT GONE. i freak myself out. I need change in my life, i need fucking excitement! I feel like a loser, i mean i don't have a job, im not in school sports anymore. its like i feel like i use to be so exciting and fun to be around but, i feel like im boring now. ME! boring! I feel like i have nothing to offer anymore like everyone who hangs out with me is wasting their time and not gaining any knowledge or insights or wisdom or anything. what the fuck. i hope im not pulling Allison down with my lack of fulfillment and joy. i wouldnt be able to handle that.......holding back tears...ugh

Current Mood: depressed
Sunday, April 11th, 2004
1:31 pm
Sunday.....with sprinkles please

Yes it is raining but, still i find this day nothing less than the color orange! ORANGE ORANGE BRIGHT SHINY ORANGE! ahhh i had a blast last night- Xtina went with me to David's show at Old Srpings...man oh man i absolutely love love love watching david play guitar, especially on stage b/c he has this oh so adorable expression on his face and he shakes his head really fast.....i am in awe.....it's scary though b/c everytime i fall in awe of someone i get hurt,denied,neglected,mislead. this has lead me to turning away from someone before i give them the proper chance to prove me wrong.confusion. but my guard is down and hopefully i don't get bit in the ass. oh yeah Happy Easter b/c i know all of my friends are oh so religious. i hate religion.it was so funny to hear my mom pray today b4 we ate b/c she is such a fucking phony-ass. she sounded oh so holy and pure as she bullshitted her way to making her feel better about herself and her flaws but, in reality according to her god and her religion - she would really be classified as a horrible sinner, maybe even on the same level as satan...haha. i loathe her. MUCH LOVE TO ALL PEACE OUT



Current Mood: cheerful
Thursday, April 1st, 2004
9:58 pm
ANTICIPATION!!!!!!!!!!

man oh man! It's April Fools and so many people tried to pull pranks on me but IT CAN NOT BE DONE. I come home and look at my door knob b4 opening it and yes there was toothpate on it, then i was going into the bathroom and i stopped outside the door and kicked it open and yes a bucket of water splashed down in front of me, and i check out the toilet seat b4 sitting down, to find cooking spray sprayed all over it, all kindsa shit...but i have not been gotten. muwahah! Damn i will officially be an adult in less than 2 hours...a fucking adult! 18 years old! damn- the possibilities to come! man, i bet all of my younger friends request i purchase their cigarettes well let me tell you, unless i have a crush on you if you wanna pack of cigs. then it is required you buy me a Green Tea. Green Tea is genius! I live off of that shit man!!! ALLI- you look bootiful in your prom dress! I am excited tomorrow is HYDRO FRIDAY FOR US! It feels like its going to be a really good birthday. For the first time since i was 13 - a good birthday! wow! well, last year it was really sweet that allikat bought me a Baskin Robbins Ice Cream Cake! yummorama!



Current Mood: ecstatic
Wednesday, March 31st, 2004
9:53 pm
UN-NECESSARY KARMA...shit for nothing! damn it
shit happens ya know. For the most it seems to be good shit that happens around me but, i suppose it has to equal itself out sometimes, this causes those bad things to happen. things like someone running into your car and driving off! or getting caught smoking by the cops! or coming back to school high and getting throw in AEP for failing sobriety tests! but, I suppose since all this bad shit just occurred, then there must be something BADASS that'll come around. like birthday head....ha ha. i must admit my recent favorite past time is naked tanning in my back yard while jammin good muzik and smoking a spliff.
THE MONEY MAKER: weed popsicles for the summertime that taste GOOD and only cost like $2.00 but ONE gets you high... yum
THE SUPER MONEY MAKER: apparently a lesbian porno with me and Allison
Sunday, March 28th, 2004
2:17 am
HYDRO i LOVE

i ABSOFUCKINGLUTELY LOVE HYDRO! It is such a pleasure missionary. yeah that describes it superbly. It simply disperses pleasure. man oh man my dad gave me a bowl of his dro and it kicked my ass!!! My parents are so dumb...we all went to a carnival by the bay which was raunchy as fuck, and i got back to the bay house in my car b4 they got home and i walk in the bathroom to roll a joint and i see a line of coke and a rolled up dollar bill sitting on the toilet...hmm...so, i took 1/2 ...i mean its not like they can say, "Hey daughter did you take my coke?" hahahaha ive got them! Christina and I got our prom attire today. They're badass psycadelic outfits. Christina's is a retro go-go dress with whhite go go boots and mine is the same exact funky designed material as her except, mine is not a dress but, a halter top jumper with humungo flare pants....they are quite bad ass...and show major clevage. man i love boobs...



Current Mood: giddy
Thursday, March 25th, 2004
10:03 pm
Bursts of excitement
I thrive on the little tid bits of exciting things that happen in the day....most are self induced, not necessarily masturbation wise, but more so of a self amusement factor. It gets me in trouble though.Today my english teacher told me that i was too influential and that when i talk the class all listen and dont do their work...haha....i fuck with people too much.....Today's excitement: CORDOROY THURSDAY!!! and Christina and I were talking about prom. its going to be so badass to have my oldest friend partying with me at prom!plus, allison is going to be there so that makes it all the better! Xtina and I are dressing like hippies and going to be BLOWED...tomorrow's excitement: FRIEDAE! hey! I am smoking a peaches and cream joint with David Van O after school! :)   PEACE OUT

Current Mood: excited
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